


Each day as it comes

by Tossukka



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Headcanon, M/M, Magic Revealed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-07
Updated: 2012-10-07
Packaged: 2017-11-15 20:44:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/531504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tossukka/pseuds/Tossukka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur is trying to resist a temptation. The universe is trying to stop him.</p><p>Warnings: <b>major spoilers for 5x01</b>, <s>canon</s> infidelity</p>
            </blockquote>





	Each day as it comes

**Author's Note:**

> Oh look. I wrote a thing. That episode, guh.
> 
> Seth and Fleete are awesome and read this through, before I posted it. Thank you, guys. <3

The universe hated Arthur Pendragon.

He wasn’t actually oblivious to his manservant’s feelings for him, although many people seemed to think that he was. He just chose to ignore them, because he couldn’t take advantage of Merlin like that. He was not that man. He didn’t want to be the man who bedded servants who fancied him and then acted like nothing had happened in the morning.

His own feelings were harder to ignore.

Arthur had married Guinevere, because he truly cared for her. She was an excellent queen, better than Arthur ever could have hoped for, and a kind, loving wife to him. They shared kisses during the day and a bed during the nights, but Arthur never felt the burning need to touch her. She was beautiful and wise and a good leader, but Arthur saw her more as his queen than as his wife.

Merlin... Merlin was something completely different.

From the moment he had met Merlin, Arthur had known there was something strange about the boy, now man, who first became his manservant and later the best friend Arthur had ever known. Arthur remembered looking at the boy in the marketplace for the first time and thinking that he looked funny but interesting and had the most ridiculous ears, but also that there was something very attractive about the almost flirtatious way the boy mock bowed at him and called him out on his bullying. It had left Arthur... intrigued. No one had ever spoken against him, because everyone knew who his father was, but even after Merlin learned Arthur was a prince, he kept on being insubordinate and insolent.

Arthur liked that about Merlin. Maybe that was why Merlin was still his servant after all these years.

When Arthur saw Merlin now it was not the ears that drew his attention, but the almost unearthly beauty of the man. Arthur was not sure if Merlin had just grown into his own skin or if knowing him better had made him more appealing to Arthur, but nowadays he felt almost painful want to shut that mouth with his own lips and feel Merlin against his body, surrendering to his king. It was so wrong to even think about it, but when he looked at Merlin, he saw the same want and that made it even harder to resist the temptation.

But Arthur was a warrior. He had been trained to listen to orders and to have discipline over his body, and Arthur held on to those teachings. He would not touch his manservant, no matter how much he wanted to, because of honour and responsibility. Sometimes when he talked with Merlin, Arthur could feel the eyes of the knights fixed on them and could almost hear them wondering if the king was really bedding his manservant.

Arthur had decided he would never act on that desire. He was friends with Merlin, and the interaction they had in their daily life was enough for him.

The universe seemed to disagree which was why Arthur knew some of the gods of either the old or the new religion must have hated him.

At first they were forced to share a bed when they visited Queen Annis in her castle. Arthur could have made Merlin sleep on the floor, but Merlin would only toss and turn for hours trying to find a comfortable position, so Arthur thought it best to just let him sleep in the bed with him. It was a large bed, and there would be no real harm in that.

He had not expected for Merlin to turn him on at dinner with his juggling act. Arthur had stared and stared at Merlin throwing the eggs in the air and catching them all in his hands. In his perfect hands with his long fingers and apparently his surprising talent for handling objects. 

It was really not a thought process Arthur wanted to go through with.

It was not the first time he was impressed by Merlin’s skills. There was something odd about Merlin who was usually so clumsy being able to perform like that, and Arthur felt he was missing something that should have been obvious. He thought about all the strange things always happening around Merlin and somehow they connected with the egg juggling episode. The answer was there, just outside his reach, but although he tried, he couldn’t find the right words to describe the thing that had always been off about Merlin. About the things that were always focused around him.

That night Merlin was sad and thoughtful, and Arthur couldn’t stand it. He tried to prod the answer from Merlin with gentle teasing and asking about his newly-discovered skills, but Merlin was being distant and mysterious. Finally Arthur gave up and collapsed on the bed, deciding that Merlin would tell him when it was the right time.

Sleep was uncomfortable when they finally got there. Merlin was dressed in only a thin nightshirt and was lying just inches from Arthur, and Arthur tried to ignore him as much as he could. He fell asleep after some time and when he woke up in the morning, Merlin had his arms on Arthur’s chest and side and head on his shoulder. It was oddly protective gesture, as if Merlin was trying to stop anything from hurting him while they slept.

Arthur felt surprising tenderness for him.

He also recognised how dangerous it would be for them both if he let his self-control slip when they were this close. It would be so easy to put his hand on Merlin’s head and pull him up into a kiss, but it would have been wrong, wrong, _wrong_. Arthur tried to tell himself that, but Merlin’s lips looked soft and he could feel Merlin’s breath on his skin. Arthur did what he always did when the situation turned awkward or too intimate between them. 

He hid his feelings behind commands and insults.

“Get up, Merlin. I know you’re the worst servant in the history, but you don’t have to actively try to be,” he said, and instantly felt better when Merlin twitched awake.

“Arthur?” Merlin mumbled, raising his head and looking at him, and Arthur had to remind himself why kissing Merlin was decidedly a bad idea.

“Go on, lazy bones. Fetch us breakfast. We have a long road ahead of us.”

Merlin went, and Arthur couldn’t suppress the sigh of relief when he was again alone in the room.

Apparently Arthur had no defence against Merlin being upset, so when he spotted him sitting alone on the edge of the water the following evening, Arthur wanted to do anything to get the smile back on Merlin’s face. He was determined to find out what was bothering Merlin and although they rarely talked about matters of the heart, Arthur asked about it after a few failed attempts at lighting Merlin’s mood. 

Merlin avoided the question. His mood couldn’t have been just about the battle and Morgana, because Merlin had seen dozens of battles before. When Arthur confessed that he thought of his men as more than brothers, he didn’t say that he included Merlin in that group, but he knew Merlin understood and thought the same. Arthur was not completely satisfied with his answers, but he let the matter be for now, because at least he got Merlin to join them and eat a little.

When Merlin saved Arthur and took him away from the battle after Morgana attacked the group of knights, Arthur finally had a revelation. 

At first he thought it had only been his imagination, a dream of a barely conscious mind, but when he woke up, back hurting like hell and neck even worse, and saw only Merlin staring at him, he knew it hadn’t been his imagination. It was the answer he had been looking for, the missing piece clicking to its place and opening up the mystery that was Merlin right in front of his eyes.

_Magic._

It should have been a surprise that Merlin was a sorcerer, but somehow it was not. It actually completed the picture quite perfectly. What really upset Arthur was the thought of Merlin lying to him about something so fundamental for all these years. It also raised some other questions, like who else knew and how Merlin had learned magic in the first place. 

Could someone else have been saved if Merlin had been honest about it earlier?

What would happen next?

Arthur pretended not to know what had happened, and Merlin seemed genuinely surprised. Maybe he had been expecting an attack or a confrontation from Arthur, but Arthur was not going to give him that when Merlin had just saved his life, like he probably had many times before. For some reason Merlin was snappish and annoyed about Arthur’s ignorance and insisted once again that he had some hidden talents Arthur had failed to see before.

For once Arthur agreed with him and even offered a word of acknowledgment, but they left the subject at that. Returning to their natural bantering was easier than having the discussion they needed to have sooner rather than later.

That night Arthur found it hard to sleep and apparently so did Merlin. This time they were sleeping backs towards each other and arms folded safely against chests. Arthur didn’t want to repeat the experience of waking up wrapped around Merlin, because now that he knew what Merlin must have done for him in the past, it could have proved to be a temptation even he couldn’t resist. When Merlin said he needed to tell Arthur something, Arthur was waiting for the confession. He wanted Merlin to trust him enough to tell him about the magic. He knew the secret was crushing Merlin, creating a rift between them, and he could now see some of the reasons for Merlin’s sadness lately. What he didn’t expect was for Merlin to start talking about the man they’d found dead in the cave. Apparently the old man had scared Merlin by speaking about Arthur before he died. About Arthur being in danger.

Merlin was worried about him. He was upset, because he believed something was going to happen to Arthur. There were no real words of comfort Arthur could offer, because he couldn’t know what would happen to them in the end and he would certainly not live forever. But he knew he couldn’t turn back now and leave his men when they needed him and told as much to Merlin.

Although Arthur didn’t usually think much of sorcerers, he had no doubt in his mind that Merlin was loyal to him. The way Merlin swore to protect Arthur at whatever cost made Arthur’s heart warm and the feelings he had been trying to bury resurface once again. It would have been so easy to pull Merlin close right then, give in to all he wanted to do, but it still would’ve been wrong. So Arthur just turned his back on Merlin and tried to fall asleep.

Ending up in such close proximity to Merlin and two dead rabbits in the trap was the final straw. Arthur tried to reach his sword and make the ropes give in by bouncing the net up and down, but both attempts failed, and Arthur ended up with Merlin sitting practically on his lap and Merlin’s thigh between his legs.

Arthur couldn’t find the words to tell Merlin to remove his leg that was pressed right against Arthur’s crotch, and he had no hope that they could be saved from here before the morning. There was nothing to be done to the situation before then. The rescuers could be anybody though, and Arthur remembered the words he had said to Merlin earlier.

_A warrior learns to enjoy each day as it comes._

Arthur finally gave in to the temptation and moved his hips just slightly when he thought Merlin had almost fallen asleep. Just to test it.

“Arthur?” Merlin muttered. “What are you...?”

Arthur pressed his groin just slightly against Merlin’s leg. It was so subtle Merlin could have ignored it if he wanted, and for a moment Arthur hoped he would.

Then Merlin pressed back and made Arthur’s breath hitch.

“Are you...” Merlin began and cleared his throat. “I mean we don’t...”

Arthur let go of his self-control and touched Merlin’s arm with the hand that was not holding on to the ropes. He couldn’t remove the glove in here, but Merlin didn’t seem to mind. They had several layers of clothing between them and still Merlin rubbing his thigh between his legs made Arthur breathe harder.

Merlin looked at him, question in his eyes, and with great effort Arthur managed to bring his hand to Merlin’s face. Merlin seemed to enjoy the feel of leather on his skin and stared at Arthur. This was it. The moment of truth, the moment of some honesty, and right then Arthur loved Merlin. Not only for his loyalty and magic and everything they had done for each other, but just for being Merlin and being there with him. Arthur leaned as close as he could in his awkward position, and Merlin closed the rest of the distance.

Merlin’s lips were soft, and Arthur closed his eyes. The kiss was tentative at first, just a careful brush of lips testing the boundaries of their relationship, and then Merlin shifted a bit, moved slightly lower and his buttock was touching Arthur’s groin. Arthur groaned, and Merlin dove in, deepening the kiss.

It shouldn’t have been possible for Arthur to come from dry rubbing through clothes, but he had been resisting this temptation for such a long time and Merlin was kissing him like he meant it. Arthur’s hand was in Merlin’s hair, mussing it up, and Merlin made small whimpering sounds while he ground his arse to Arthur’s cock. He must have been just as hard as Arthur was by now.

Arthur moved his hand from Merlin’s hair. He was still holding on to the rope with the other hand but sneaked the other between Merlin and the net. He pulled Merlin more tightly against his lap and in the new position was able to cover Merlin’s crotch with his hand.

“Arthur,” Merlin breathed. “You don’t have to...”

“Hush. Just do as you’re told for once,” Arthur whispered and moved his hand. Merlin’s belt was in the way, so Arthur couldn’t reach inside the trousers, but he fondled the hardness through the clothing and then Merlin was reaching for his mouth again and kissing Arthur while rubbing his backside vehemently against Arthur.

It was not the most graceful way of getting off, but with Merlin panting slightly and breathing hot puffs of air against Arthur’s jaw and writhing in a way that was suggesting activities with less clothing, Arthur came in his pants like an adolescent. Merlin must have felt it, because he moaned and just moments later Arthur could feel Merlin’s cock softening under his touch.

“That was...” Merlin said.

“It was,” Arthur agreed and kissed Merlin’s mouth once again just to remind himself of the taste of it. “If we ever... If we ever get out of here alive...”

Merlin remained quiet.

“I’d like to...” Arthur tried to find a right way of saying what he meant.

“Forget that? It was only because you wanted to enjoy the situation in case this is our last night?”

“No,” Arthur said. “I’d like to do that again in a more comfortable place and without as many clothes between us.”

“...oh.”

“Merlin,” Arthur said seriously. “I’d never force you if you don’t...”

“Shut up,” Merlin said, and kissed Arthur’s jaw softly. “I know. And I’d like that.”

“Good. That’s... good,” Arthur said, because he had no words to describe the exhilaration of Merlin returning his feelings. “Now we should get some rest.”

They managed to find a relatively comfortable position despite the lack of room. Tomorrow could bring death and destruction or it could reveal the remaining secrets between them, but Arthur would take each day as it came.

Maybe he had some gods on his side after all.

-fin-


End file.
